I'm Still Here
by dwennie
Summary: Because she had to help him, before he gave up everything he had worked for. Set right after Behind the Blue Line, minor spoilers. Nothing big. Jules/Sam friendship, oneshot.


**Disclaimer: Nothing is owned by me, but that will hopefully change Christmas Day! Haha, not.**

**This is set right after Behind the Blue Line, sort of my imagination's continuation. R & R please. :)**

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When Jules saw Sam leave the station, she knew something was horribly wrong. It had been an especially hard day for him, but still. She could tell. Something about the way he moved, the absent stare in his eyes told her all she needed to know. She knew him well enough to know that he was still unconvinced about staying with the team. She had to take action, before it was too late. Before he left for good.

A plan forming in her mind, Jules left the station, nodding a solemn goodbye to the guys and Leah before she left. Striding purposefully to the parking lot, she noticed that Sam's bicycle was no longer in the bike rack. Climbing into her jeep, she revved the engine and drove her car out into the road, driving the down familiar path to Sam's house. She would arrive before him, of that she was sure, but that worked in her favour.

A short while later, Jules slowed to a stop, parking her car on the road beside Sam's driveway. Deciding that she didn't want to sit in the car anymore, she slid out of the front seat and meandered over to his front door, waiting for him to arrive. Dusting off the steps, she took a seat on the stairs and looked up, the stars of the night sky veiled by the city's lights.

She just there, lost in thought until she heard the sound of bike wheels approaching about 20 minutes later. She looked up to see a distraught Sam hop off his bike and toss it aside angrily, still oblivious to her presence. His hands were shaking slightly, and his eyes were red-rimmed. She realized sadly that he had been crying. Sam hardly ever cried, the last time she could remember him crying was when she had been shot, and she hadn't even seen that for herself. Today had shaken him to his very core.

She waited until he was a few feet in front of her before she spoke. "Sam."

He stopped at once, looking up at her with shock and anger written all over his face. His worried face blanked instantly, as though he thought by hiding his expression he would be able to convince her nothing was wrong. "Jules, what are you doing here?" he asked, keeping his voice carefully blank and emotionless.

Jules saw through him like glass. Stepping slightly closer, she lay a hand on his arm, offering silent support. "It's going to be okay, Sam."

He tried to push past her, his face still guarded. His still red eyes gave him away, though. "I'm –"

"You're not fine, Sam. You can't pull that one on me," she interrupted gently, her hand stopping him from leaving. "I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but I'll tell you right now that things get better."

Sam looked away, his eyes filling with tears again. He tried to keep his voice controlled, but a tremor still crept into his next words. "No, you don't know," he retorted fiercely, completely ignoring her last words. "You can't possibly understand, Jules."

"We all have bad days, Sam. We all have days when things get too personal, when the stakes are suddenly way higher. We all have days when we just want it to stop," she spoke softly, her eyes searching his.

He said nothing, dropping his eyes once again. The silence between them slowly stretched out, Jules still resting her hand on his arm in comfort.

After what seemed like days, Sam looked her in the eyes, a tear slowly sliding down his cheek. His face lost the façade of strength and crumpled into a heartbreaking mask of despair, and he sank down onto the bottom stair, his face in his hands. Jules sat down beside him, lightly squeezing him on his shoulder.

Speaking into his hands, he mumbled, "I just... feel so _guilty_. For everything; today and in Kandahar."

"I know," Jules whispered, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. "I know. But we're here for you, we've all been in spots like this before. If you need someone to talk to, you know you can call me."

Sam turned his face towards her in anguish, half-dried tear streaks on his face. "I don't deserve it, not after today," he moaned desperately.

Jules stated firmly, "Sam. We're a team, and we support each other through the good days and the bad. We love you, and we're not going to let you leave us because of this."

At the word "love", Sam's distressed face froze. For a moment, the hurt was gone form his face, replaced by curiosity and surprise.

She nudged him gently, a sad smile creeping over her lips. "We're best friends, Sam. Of course I love you," she confirmed quietly. "Just because we're not dating doesn't mean I can't still care about you. I'm still here if you need me."

Sam nodded tiredly, the stress from the day's work clear as crystal. "Thanks," he murmured, squeezing his eyes shut. "It means a lot to me."

Jules didn't answer; instead she pulled him into the most compassionate embrace she'd ever given. He collapsed into her arms, the sobs returning in full force as he shook with suppressed emotion. They stayed like that for several long moments, Jules rocking Sam back and forth like a small child. Slowly, finished crying, Sam relaxed and eased himself out of her arms, giving Jules a small smile in thanks.

She let him end the hug, knowing that something had changed inside him. She had accomplished what she had set out to do. Sensing that he still had something he wanted to say or ask, she stayed seated on the step, waiting.

Her instincts were right. Less than a minute later, Sam asked sheepishly, "Can you stay here? I just... I don't think I can be alone right now."

She had to suppress a smile, the vulnerable side of Sam Braddock was a side no one was allowed to see. She nodded, saying, "Of course."

Getting up stiffly, Sam fished in his pockets for his keys, opening the front door and escorting her through it. Wiping the residue of the tears from his face, he asked, "You want anything?"

She shook her head ruefully. "Nah, I'm good. I'll be on the couch if you need me, alright? Get some sleep, Sam. It'll look better in the morning."

He bit his lip, troubled. "You sure? Cause I don't mind –"

She cut him off, smiling tiredly. "It's fine, really. You need the rest more than I do. If you need anything, just wake me up."

He looked unconvinced, but seemed to know better than to argue. Giving her a swift hug, he said earnestly, "Thanks, Jules. You've helped me... more than I can tell you."

"Anytime," she said, meaning every syllable. Settling down on the couch, she pulled down the blanket draped on its back and wrapped herself in its comforting warmth. "Goodnight, Sam."

"Goodnight," he whispered, shutting off the light as he walked to his bedroom.

It was going to be all right after all, he thought. He knew Jules would be able to get him through anything.

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**FIN**

**Thanks for reading :)  
Reviews are much appreciated!**


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